Lets us first understand, what is fear?
In my earlier article I have discussed about depression. It is an useless emotion.It arises out of lack of self – confidence. For which there is no solution unless the person improves his self confidence.
But if you look at fear (it is also a negative emotion) but it has a purpose.
We cannot or need not remove the fear completely but we need to be prudent in handling the fears and not panic.
I will give some examples,
- Say one day, I forgot to latch the front door of my house. I went to sleep peacefully. Just didn’t pay attention to it for some hours. Later, I found that the door was not latched. It’s ok, from next time I will be careful. But I have seen people who will keep thinking about this incident and keep cribbing ” how did I forget? What would have happened if somebody would have come inside? What if my child got up and went outside? etc”. These kinds of fears developing some hypothetical situations is going to create a lot of panic and will bring in more worry and take away the peace. Then they will always be checking the doors and even insist on certain family members to keep checking it. If by chance somebody else leave the door open they will just bounce on them.
- Bringing a hot liquid thing say a dhal or sambar or soup to the table. We can either use a cloth or some kind of metal holders and do it easily. There are people who want to be careful, so they first make an announcement that they are bringing a hot thing. Even the kids who are doing something else is coming and seeing what is happening? Then may be they will clear the things on the way as though they might stumble. So much of panic…May be with these too much of preparation either the dhal will be burned in the stove or for sure there will be an accident at home. Because of this accident again they will do 10000 other precautions which will again end up in a great mess.
I can give n number of examples. The idea is make people understand to handle the fears prudently than by creating panic.
Fear expands very easily. Thinking of all unwanted things will blow it big.
Normally people with fear are too careful in doing things and they will think people who are doing the job with ease is too careless.
Mind is running out of control in fear.
These are people who normally are more attached to the jobs, relationships,products, things, car etc.
They will have a fear of losing them or handling them well.
Worrying about a thing is also a kind of fear. Normally a big percentage of time is spent on worrying.
Without fear the life is enjoyable.
I can tell my example. Somehow I am fearless. I am not sacred of being alone at home or my child will bang into a wall or anything you name.
I am too casual. People generally misunderstand me for being too careless.
May be because of this nature general panic situations don’t happen in my house.
It doesn’t mean that I never make mistakes. But I will try to correct it but never bothered/ worried about the mistake. Error is human.
But there are certain kinds of fear I have like,
Whether my understanding about the topics I write is perfect. Why I am not getting the acknowledgement? May be I am going wrong somewhere? or what is that ! that is stopping me to process spiritually etc.
Some fear will be there. Of course fear has a purpose and it will help you to grow.
But avoid thinking of unnecessary fears by imagining things.
People in the first chakra (security) will have lots of fear. People in the second chakra (pleasure), will like to have fun going to a party. They will plan and think that they will have so much fun and they will have a fear that they may not like it etc. So we will have fear and cannot avoid it.
Fine. What is the solution?
- Understanding the truth i.e. rather than proving yourself – understanding that you are lot more than what you think.
- We are special. Why to keep proving that we are?
- Don’t neglect your duties because of worry. Do your duties happily.
- Do things that will make you happy say,
- Develop the capability to be together with others in a nice way. For this be natural.
- You need not do something special to draw the attention of others. Do your duties happily with some creativity; people will get attracted.
- Don’t imagine in a big way.
- I know people who will imagine that they will meet an accident. If you just get a thought it is fine. But they will also imagine as though they are in the hospital unattended etc. I am sure with these repeated imagination we invite the problems. For sure they will meet an accident may be in this life or in the next life. All the accidents are invited.
- All the big things in our life say, choosing a life partner, buying a house etc happens just like that. Normally we keep planning and worrying for the small things in life.
- Planning is important. Plan once and leave. People keep planning over and over again. Keep reminding them about the plan. Make a rule that you will plan once and leave. If any crises arises while executing the plan – you will handle it when it comes. This is prudent.
- One person is getting benefited by these imaginary fears i.e the insurance company. You can insure for all kinds of fear. May be that will stop you from fearing – go head.
- Some fear is required to retain authority. The famous saying of my husband is ” Good husband is one who fears for his wife”.
- Fear is again a game of the mind. So yoga, meditation will bring in more shanta (peace) and will help to get rid of fear.
- Pranayam is wonderful for this. If you get a big fear – stop breathing it will vanish.
- If you have any fearful imagination of the future you will have a metallic taste in the mouth. Eat a peace of fresh ginger it will vanish. Ginger is good to reduce vata (wind). Mostly fear is out of vata imbalance.
- If you drink too much of coffee and gassy things obviously you are inviting vata (wind) and the friend fear will also accompany him. We need to be careful with our diet.
- People in fear will think of all the options but will never find a solution. May be they can share the problem with a friend who will casually give a solution and this worrying person will be surprised ‘ how come I didn’t think of this simple solution”. Reason in fear we are worrying and not thinking peacefully.
- We cannot avoid problems or fear. We have to think – “problems are a blessing”.
- Most of my friends tell me ” Uma, how can you be so positive”. I am very happy hearing it. But when I get problems I tell them “see – I am positive; then why the hell I get problems”. The answer is problems are a blessing. The more you get and the more you handle it prudently- the more you grow.
- Say a rose plat, when trimmed and maintained well ; will be there for years. If it is unattended it will grow all over and waste its energy and die quickly.
- Solving problem will help you grow spiritually. It will make you strong and independent.
- I have seen people, spending hours discussing about the problems. If you tell a solution they will not like it. Please pay attention to the solutions you get around and try it. Don’t waste your energy and time in worrying.
- Just ask yourself ” are you neglecting your duties? that is why the fear” ?
- If yes, then first do your duties happily.
- If no, then you can do fear sadhana i.e to start off practice one day without worrying and fearing.
- Do it step by step. Do it one day and give a gap of a week and do it again. Slowly slowly increase it – till you get rid of it.
- There are also some fears passed on by our parents. May be think about it and reason it well. It will vanish.
- Two slokas (mantras) work well to get rid of fears. One – for the fear God Kali – AUM HRING KRING KALIKAYE NAMAH AUM. Two – which most of you will know it and like it – ALL IS WELL………..
Point : Replace fear with curiosity – you will find something. Everything happens in the life has a purpose. All is well. Whatever happens is for the good………………