After my marriage, I felt myself incapable of managing the house and the job. I didn’t know how to cook ? Everyday, it was a task for me.
Somehow, with great difficulty I was managing.
I delivered my first child and my husband was transferred to Delhi.
I was forced to quit the job as my company didn’t have a branch in Delhi.
With my 3 months old baby – I came to Delhi.
We found a house for rent. It is a kothi in Delhi (Villa) – in which there were 3 portions.
Our packers came and from morning we were unloading and arranging things.
Around 4 PM – A lady entered the house with 4 cups of tea and some biscuits.
She was our neighbour and turned out to be my best friend / God Mother – I don’t know what to call her.
She was so friendly. She looked the most beautiful for me. She was 45 years but looked 25.
Very smart and a very admirable house wife.
I liked her. My husband also says she is enterprising. My mother also liked her.
She used to visit my house regularly. I am generally a home bird and does not go to anybodies house so quickly.
First time after my marriage – I heard compliments from her. She said ” You are so calm and loving – How warm are you – How beautiful is your smile – How generous and kind “. I could not believe my ears. I never imagined even I have such qualities. By then, Meri Khan Pak chuki ti of complaints. I was not having the domestic skills and could not manage anything well. I felt like an incapable soul.
(Till then in life – I was very good in everything. My life is not anything unique. Many ladies take it as a part of their life and expect that things will change eventually. I don’t know why – I could not take it lightly.)
Even though I wondered whether this lady is really telling it or not ; I liked her company.
I was very happy with her.
She thought me – all the basics of cooking.
Even when a subzi is burnt – I would just open the door and shout ” Yojana”. In few seconds she was in my house like a breeze and asked “What happened? “. Only she is capable of fixing a burnt subzi.
I was always at her back with a small notebook – noting down all the recipes.
I would try and take some for her to taste. She will tell me the exact mistakes. Again, correction and again getting it tasted.
I used to tell her ” I don’t know why – my food never tastes like yours “. These are her words ” Uma – you are just 25 and I am 45. I cooking from 1o years almost 35 years of cooking experience. You have just started. I am sure one day you will become a very good cook. Look at your efforts – I am amazed. We should always see the effort and not the outcome. The result will definitively come – keep putting your efforts”.
For me – at that time – for all problems – one solution – “Yojana”.
I used to admire the way she maintained the house. Let 25 people come home for dinner. The food is ready and her house is all set by 10.30 am.
I was confused whether I need to take up a job or improve my domestic skills for some time etc.
After seeing her, I thought – I need to be a smart housewife like her. I was very happy with the decision. Not even one day after that I have wondered whether I have taken the right decision.
Till then I was a simple looking girl from chennai. With her influence – I started to dress well. I thought my respect improved with my way of dressing. I felt more confident.
My first inspiration : Yojana.
My second inspiration : My maid (domestic help ) Leela.
Yojana recommended me a maid named Leela (55 years).
Yojana suggested me not to have a maid for fixed jobs as I was not good at anything. She fixed the maid for 2 1/2 hours in the morning. She will come at 9.30 am (very punctual maid) and we both will cook together, wash vessels together, wash clothes together, sweep and swap together. All jobs done by 12 noon.
We used to do the work and at the same time Leela used to manage my son. I asked her ” If I do the work – who will manage my son” . She said ” you need an another maid for that – what didi (sister) – see how I manage both”. I was admiring her for her capability with my mouth wide open.
I was very happy – that all the work is done by 12 noon. Me and my son used to have lunch and sleep well for 2 hours atleast.
Then, again in the evening she will come for 1 hour. She will make chapatis for dinner and I would make the subzi. It was over in 15 minutes. She used to play with my son and I used to go for a walk for 45 minutes.
When my son was 2 yrs. Leela found a job in Dubai and yojana’s husband got transferred.
I decided to send my son to a play school.
With so much of research – finally decided a school.
By then, I was a confident girl with lots of smile. Some home improvement and some exotic dish everyday.
I used to drop my son to the school and stayed in the park opposite to the school. Did my walk. I was not driving then. Just to save the auto fare – I decided to wait for my son.
My husband used to drop him and I used to pickup. As he was on tour for many days – I ended staying in the park.
I never felt bad. I was happily waiting and rushed as a first parent to pick my son up when the gate is opened.
One day, when I was waiting in the park. A lady came and said ” The principal is calling you”.
My third Inspiration : The principal of the play school.
She said ” I heard – you are waiting everyday in the park”. I agreed and told the right reason. She said ” if you are interested you can be a volunteer in the school”. This shocked me ; at the same time I felt good.
From the next morning, I was a volunteer.
When you do something for a big cause (karma yoga) – your confidence goes up.
(eg. A union leader going to the management of the company asking for rain boots for the employees. How he would go – with so much of confidence. If the same union leader is going to the management for his sons job. How humble he will be.)
There – I figured out my drawing talents. My sincerity in my work.
I remember, doing the art work in the bathroom as my husband used to shout at me as I am doing a 24×7 job for free.
Within 2 months, I was given a class with 17 children with a salary of Rs. 4,500 pm 🙂
I learned to drive.
I felt as though – I suddenly adopted 17 children. I treated each one like mine. Was in constant touch with all the parents. Everyday, atleast one hour I used to discuss with the principal about the issues in handling the kids.
The principal was an amazing lady. She was running the play school in one of the posh locality of South Delhi. She had only 50 students in the school. Just breaking even. Even, if she would have rented the premises – she would have earned more.
She had a special talent in handling the kids and advising the parents. She believed strongly that she can never bring in any change in any child unless the parents are the role model.
With her help, I was handling my son and my family relations with little ease.
My fourth inspiration : My maid – Poonam.
She is still working with me. She is the most beautiful maid in the world. She is very calm and very very very slow in her work. Her work is very clean.
But can advice and be very sarcastic.
She always guides me ( how to handle situations). I wonder – she is naturally a vedantian by birth.
She is very happy that I am writing about her in my blog.
My other inspirations are My Yoga teacher, Vedanta and My Vedanta teacher.
I want to thank my husband for giving me the freedom to write. Without his invisible support nothing is possible.
My best friend is internet and my only pass time is Bhagavad Gita and my blog.
My aim of life ; is to be a Yojana in every women’s life.
My blog is one year old.
Happy Women’s Day.